Holiday gatherings tend to bring friends and family together, creating opportunities for connection and celebration after a long year. However, for those in recovery, these gatherings can also raise questions about sobriety, recovery journeys, or lifestyle changes. In fact, it’s these very topics that often cause the most anxiety for individuals in recovery, as they’re still getting comfortable in their new life. If you would like to branch out and attend some events this year, it helps to know how to navigate delicate conversations with confidence, transparency, and grace. Below are some tips to do exactly that.
Decide What You’re Comfortable Sharing
Before attending a holiday event, think about how much you’re willing to share about your recovery. Remember, you’re not obligated to disclose details about your recovery unless you want to. Some considerations include:
- Your audience: Are they close friends, distant relatives, or coworkers? Typically, people feel most comfortable sharing details with close friends and family only.
- The setting: Is it a private conversation or a large group discussion? Private discussions allow for more intimate subject matter, while group discussions tend to be more casual and relaxed.
- Your comfort level: Sharing only what feels safe and right for you is perfectly acceptable. You never have to share more than what you want to.
Prepare Responses to Common Questions
In many cases, it’s the fear of being asked certain questions that worry people most. To help curb some of your anxiety, anticipate the questions or comments you may receive. For instance:
- “Why aren’t you drinking?”
Responses could include:- “I’m focusing on my health and well-being.”
- “I feel better without alcohol.”
- “I’m not drinking tonight, but thanks for asking.”
- “What’s new with you?”
Use this as an opportunity to share something positive, like:- “I’ve been focusing on self-care and personal growth.”
- “I’m working on some exciting goals for the new year.”
- “Why aren’t you joining in?”
Politely redirect with:- “I’m enjoying myself in other ways!”
- “I’m just happy to be here and connect with everyone.”
Practice Assertiveness
Setting boundaries is crucial. If someone presses you for details you’re not ready to share, practice assertive yet polite responses like:
- “I’d rather not get into that right now, but thanks for understanding.”
- “That’s personal, but I appreciate your concern.”
- “Let’s talk about something else. How have you been?”
Assertiveness allows you to maintain control of the conversation while showing respect for yourself and others.
Highlight the Positive
When discussing your recovery, frame it in a positive light. Focus on how it’s improved your life, such as by helping you feel healthier and happier. When you show others that you have a favorable attitude toward sobriety, they are more likely to praise your efforts rather than criticize them. Unfortunately, some people believe that being sober is “boring,” but you can show them that this is far from the truth.
Redirect the Conversation
If you’re uncomfortable, steer the conversation toward a different topic. For example, if someone asks about your recovery, you can answer with, “It’s going well, thanks. By the way, how’s your new job?” If the discussion turns toward alcohol, you can say something like, “I’m good with my sparkling water. Who brought this amazing dessert?” Redirecting can ease the tension and shift focus to a neutral or enjoyable subject.
Lean on Your Allies
If you’re attending a gathering with supportive friends or family, let them know beforehand how they can help. For example, they can change the subject if conversations about alcohol arise, or they can provide a safe space to talk if you’re feeling overwhelmed. A support person can also be a sober companion at the event, providing comfort and encouragement. As much as your allies can support you, remember that only you are in control of your sobriety.
Be Kind to Yourself
Recovery is a deeply personal journey, and it’s okay if you feel nervous or unsure about sharing. At the end of the day, you don’t have to explain or justify your recovery to anyone. It’s okay to step away from an uncomfortable conversation or leave a gathering that becomes overwhelming. Your recovery comes first, and you don’t have to risk all the work you’ve put in to please someone else. Practicing self-compassion can help you stay grounded during the holidays.
Celebrate Your Strength
Attending holiday gatherings while maintaining your recovery is a testament to your resilience. Acknowledge your achievements and focus on the joy of being present, celebrating with loved ones, and creating new, meaningful memories. With each passing year, it will become easier to enjoy the holidays without alcohol. You’ll develop new friendships, new traditions, and new ways to spend the festive season.
Final Thoughts
Talking about your recovery during holiday gatherings can be empowering, but it’s essential to prioritize your comfort and boundaries. By preparing responses, leaning on support, and staying positive, you can navigate these conversations with confidence and grace. Remember, your recovery is a gift to yourself and your loved ones, and the holidays are a time to celebrate your progress and growth. Awakenings Treatment Center wishes you a happy, healthy holiday season.
